Cursing. Yep, The Kiddo went there. I suspect because I often led him there. I know I did. My potty mouth is terrible. For years, I was able to keep it in check at work because they usually frown upon it. Then I would let out the blue streak out of my mouth as soon as I got in my car and throughout the rest of my day. Sometimes it just feels damn good to say "Fuck it!"
I'm not working outside the home anymore and I"m a mom now. I really ought to known better. I do know better. However, old habits die hard and I don't have a behavior therapist doing ABA on me. Plus, I took great advantage of the kiddo being completely non verbal for a long time. Hell, I would of been happy if he said "Shit" when he was first diagnosed. Especially to this one early intervention therapist who was kind of a stuck up know it all. She could of used it. Would of knocked her down a few pegs. I'm sure there are few parents reading this now who are thinking "I"d be happy if my kid said anything. Hey, it's language". Fuck yeah it is!
But let me tell ya something, when it does happen, duuuuuuude. There's really no other way to describe it. Last Monday he started saying "It's fucking crazy." and like some sort of autism mom rookie I made the huge mistake of making a big gasp sound. He got a wonderful shocked reaction out of me and that was all the reinforcer he needed to keep saying it all day long. Then the most mortifying moment of my life as his mom happened. He repeated it loud and clear in the PACKED waiting room at speech therapy. I quickly scolded him but I also knew I was fighting for his attention as several adults were starring at him with that "Did he just say that???" So now he not only had my reaction, he had about five more adults giving him feedback that this an awesome attention getting behavior! YAY!! When he went in for his appointment, I went to hide in my car. I couldn't even stay in the room, I felt that ashamed. Of course, the kiddo decided to test this brand new fantastic sentence on his speech therapist during their appointment. I like to think she was at least impressed with his articulation. I mean, it's no "S" blends like "shit" but hey, we're still working on that one.
So it's emails off to the teacher warning her of this habit. I had a stern sit down with the kiddo explaining how he couldn't say it and Mommy wasn't going to either. (Well in my head I will be screaming it but I got to put forth equal effort here) Don't say it in school. In true literal thinking fashion, he did NOT say it in class or to his teacher. He did however say it to the school nurse when he went for his meds, his school OT and his school speech therapist. DANDY! She sent home what she is doing in class to address it. I am following it at home. It's gotten better. I also think though, it's never going to fully go away. For a kiddo that usually avoids eye contact, he LOVES all eyes on him and he knows this is a way to get that. To paraphrase the Notorious B.I.G. here. Mo' Speech, Mo' Problems YO!
We managed to get through yesterday's speech session without dropping the F bomb in the waiting room. I was able to wait in there without feeling like the world's worst mom in America. It reminded me also I just can't ever assume he won't pick up on a word I say. That he won't understand the meaning in it. He knew that saying this way a big deal. I"m sure with this terrible winter we are having, he heard me referring to all the snow days as "Fucking crazy". I messed this up so I have to fix it.
Eh, could of been worse right? Could of been like this time he managed to get passed the baby gate on our bar and broke a bottle of vermouth on the floor ten minutes before the bus was due to come. Nothing like sending your kiddo into preschool smelling like a dry martini!