Have you tried...

The Kiddo is now ten. Trust me Honey, I have tried.  Whatever you are suggesting, we have done and then some.

I know this is being said to me because you want to help. You see us struggling. You want to see him succeed.  You love him.  You love us.  Or you think we are clueless and need direction.  You're providing a public service.  Aren't you a sweetheart?

Please realize though, there comes a point where as a family you have been there, done that and sent the postcard.

You see, sometimes despite doing all these things, it's not enough.  You may have the mind set that doing these things will fix a problem and make the thing go away.  It doesn't work like that though.  Trust me.  I've learned that by experience.  When you try your umpteenth wonder fix and it doesn't work out the way you think it will, you just start realizing you have to pick your pony for each race.  Sometimes you don't even want to race.  Sometimes you just want to sit on the couch and watch a Netflix.

I know for myself it went from trying things to help make things go away to trying things to nip things in the bud to finally just trying things that just help him cope.

I also learned that he wasn't always the one that needed to be subject to the "Have you tried...".  It's about me too.

Oh you're an autism parent too so you know?  Nope, you don't.  You know the autism you live with not the one residing at this house, thank you very much.  I've been guilty of doing this too.  I have to remind myself the same thing.  The autism you live with tends to give you the worse view of tunnel vision on the topic.  Honestly it took starting this blog for me to start realizing I needed open my mind a bit more.  It's amazing what a few emails or blog comments that say "Nope!" can do to your outlook and your ego.  Both good and bad.

The only trying I'm interested in trying right now is just getting through another day.  I am going to try and get a few loads of laundry done.  I'm going to try and figure out what to do with that pound of chopped beef I have defrosting in the fridge for dinner. I'm going to try to remember the new recycling pick up schedule for my town.  I'm going to try to get the kiddo to practice his piano when he gets home from school.  Mostly, I'm going to try to let autism not completely try my patience.  (Although it often does.)

So if you wouldn't mind, hold back on the "Have you tried...".  Unless it's something like "Have you tried this new restaurant?  I insist you do.  Here's a gift card to it and I will babysit your kid while you go."  I'm never going to say no to that.

Wait a minute. Someone out there is taking offence to this post.  They are really pissed.  They are about to rattle off some story of a terrible parent they know and how ungrateful I must be.  That's cool by me because yeah, we may be special needs parents but we're not freaking saints here.  We can suck just as much as the next guy.  Trust me, I am very well aware of my flaws.  The nice part about being a blogger is that there is someone nearly every day online writing to point them out to me.  How handy of them to provide a list!  I bet someone is pressing "send" just now on an email they crafted about how worried they are about my kiddo's eating habits.  "Have you tried..." and yadda,yadda, yadda.  Nope, I didn't.  Never heard of it.  Why don't you come pick up my kiddo and show me how? Don't worry.  I'm laughing with you, not at you.  Promise.  ;-)
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