I hear this sentence a lot. I've heard it expressed in different ways though. Sometimes it's said in an effort to relate to me and my kiddo. Sometimes I hear it and I feel completely dismissed by it. And sometimes I say it and I have seen looks of hope, pity and outright shock in the face of a parent looking at me.
"Your kiddo is obsessed with trains. Oh my kid does that too." Well that's great and all but my kiddo is nine. I'm betting your kiddo if they are the same age, is well past that point of all things Island of Sodor. I'm betting you don't plan vacations on around train museums to visit or have to make up social stories about when the train ride is finished we say thank you and we do not cry. Plus when this was said to me during our first trip down the rabbit hole that is Thomas the Tank Engine, I'm betting your kid actually played make believe with the toys. He didn't just line them up. Now right here, someone is saying "Oh my kid did that too." but I'm pretty sure they did that PLUS other things with them. Not just this and eventually they moved on. Maybe they still have a fond affection for trains and always will but trust me, my kiddo never truly abandons an obsession. I'm betting your kid got into something else.
"Your kiddo is rowdy with your dog. Oh my kid does that too." Now I'm betting you will tell me about that one time your kiddo got nipped by the dog and never did it again. That it taught them a lesson. Yep, my kiddo has been nipped. Multiple times. It never teaches him "the lesson". So please excuse me while I watch him like a hawk around your pet because despite it happening countless times, he's never stopped getting in an animal's face. It's not rough housing. It's not be a rowdy boy on his part. It's not "rough and tumble" play as my child psychology professor used to like to call it. It's an accident waiting to happen. I'm betting your kiddo didn't get nipped and immediately start scripting from Yo Gabba Gabba "We don't ever bite our friends."
"Your kiddo hates school. Oh my kid does that too." As much as my son craves and relies on the schedule of his school day, he also has a wonderful way to get my heart beating in the morning. I will have to prompt him no less than 8,304 times to finish his breakfast. I will wrestle this nine year old boy into his jacket every morning. Even though he has been going to school since the day after his third birthday, I will have to remind him to get his backpack every single morning. While your kid might be excited if the bus is late or wakes up to a sudden snow day, mine will likely melt down for an hour over it. Don't even get me started on handwriting homework. It has driven me to drink. Fourth grade math might baffle your kid but my son still is challenged by having to sign his name.
Now here's where I will flip this sentence. If I say "Oh my kid does that too." to someone, I can you bet you dollars to donuts that they might blink in shock. Especially if their kid isn't on the spectrum. I've seen other moms actually look terrified when I have said it. Like their kid is going to catch the kiddo's autism. Best get them out of there right away. While you can relate to some of the things I said, guess what? I can do the same to what you say. Complicated isn't it? It isn't all autism all the time here. There are some parts of him that are just like your kids.
I guess what's always kind of stuck in my craw about that damn sentence is that it can make me feel like my concerns or worries aren't valid. I know I heard this sentence a lot when we were just starting the autism diagnosis process. Friends and families were trying to calm our fears. Little tip, it doesn't really. It just sticks out more in your mind, the differences in our kids. It just made me feel like the idea of autism was so awful that no one even wanted to discuss it. That made me so sad. It made me convinced he'd never be accepted by anyone. Even possibly myself. How can you come to terms with autism if you won't even acknowledge it? Just doesn't work.
Well I will agree with you on one thing. The fries, all kids do love the fries too. :-)