"Can't you just move the appointment? He can skip a session right?"
"Can't you just put the songs he likes on his iPad? Instead of playing the same CD the skips?"
"Can't you just have him watch that DVD downstairs? What do you mean it has to be on the portable player?"
"Can't you just get a babysitter and come out with us? There are tons of teens looking to make some extra cash."
"Can't you just make up little cards to hand out that have autism information printed on them?"
"Can't you just..." is a question I hear far to often and I'm at the point where if I hear it again my eyes are at risk for getting stuck from rolling them one to many times. Which would really suck. I wouldn't get to see what shade of spray tan the Real Housewives are this week. Autism, just isn't that simple. I wish I could just do it that way you are suggesting but we have learned our limits dear friend.
Once again, he's sleeping and I am not. It's the middle of the night and my brain is just running. I can hear some of you now saying "Can't you just sleep when he sleeps?" Nope, sometimes I can't. I'm much to busy having a insomnia induced panic attack about school ending in 8 (Gulp!) days. I'm worrying about a vacation we are leaving for in two weeks. I am mentally making my check list of all the things I need to buy for it. The list of what needs to be packed. Is the car charger for the DVD player still in my husband's SUV? It's 2:19 AM. I could just go look right? Totally normal time to run out to the car. Jeez what DVDs should I bring this time? Which one is the one that skips in the portable? This place has Wifi right?
Ugh!! "Can't you just enjoy your vacation?" Nope, apparently, I can't. Not unless I worry about every possible thing that could go wrong and what can we do to fix things. As if just going about our business couldn't be stressful enough some days with strange looks and comments from the general public, let's throw in a completely new environment around us. I guess the bonus is, if it gets really bad, well, we will never see those people again. Oh that reminds me, his meds! Add that to list. I do notice I've never heard folks suggest "Can't you just skip his dose?" No routine and no medication? Even Jesus wouldn't take the wheel on that. At least that's a "Can't you just..." I haven't heard.
Will I have time to make little cards to pass out in case of a meltdown? Then I start to think why SHOULD I have to make little cards to pass out? Even if I did, I can tell you, making sure I stop and pass them out would be the LAST freaking thing on my mind. So yeah, I'll be skipping that errand to STAPLES. More bug spray and sunblock, less office supplies. Yeah, I know. I'm missing a prime opportunity to educate and advocate and blah, blah, blah. Sometimes though, I just want to do what I got to do and if that means paying our restaurant bill quickly while my husband half drags him out, so be it. I can't be a walking information kiosk all the time. I don't want to be and nor should I be. You think I got a clue what I'm doing? I'm sitting here not sleeping at 2:40AM and wondering if I should check my husband's car if he has extra wipes? WIPES! Put that on the list. Seriously, don't think I got it going on. I'm so flying by the seat of my pants here.
"You need to give yourself a break. Can't you go get a sitter and go out with your husband?" Hahahahaha! Yeah the neighborhood 14 year old, so not equipped for the kiddo. You neurotypicals think you have a hard time find a babysitter? Not even close. Sorry. Unless they had a sibling with autism maybe. Even then, I bet they'd like a night off from autism. I don't think they'd be knocking down my door for a job. What do I know? It's almost 3AM and I'm not sleeping. Oh and even when we have gone out because a family member pitches in, guess what we talk about? :-)
OK, I really need to try and sleep. Daylight will be here soon. Even the dogs have left me to go snore.
"Can't you just drink another cup of coffee?" You mean on top of the three I have most mornings? Sigh.... MELATONIN!! Pack melatonin. This list will never end.