Why yes I am using another 80's hair band song for a post title! Frankly being from New Jersey I'm surprised a Bon Jovi reference hasn't happened sooner. Admit it, you love me and my so cheesy you can put it on a cracker and call it a snack taste in music.
Anyway, consider this post my token religion post. As little as I claim to know about autism, I know even less with religion. So I'm going to just rattle off what happened and you do with it what you will.
I get a lot of emails as "Mama Fry". Many asking for help or advice but quite a few are nice "gee ain't ya a swell gal, wish I could share a box of wine with you" types. I love those and not just cause wine is involved. Honest! It makes me feel good to know that I'm not alone on this journey. There are folks out there just like me. Inappropriate, sarcastic and tired. We may be sleep deprived but dammit we are a good time when we get a break. Be it a night out with the girls or hiding in your bathroom for five minutes claiming stomach distress while your family is whining they don't like what you made for dinner.
Some folks even write me that they are praying for me and my kiddo. That's pretty nice of them. They don't know me or us really other than what I tell you. Granny Fry didn't raise no fool. Heck it was Great Granny's and her's constant novenas to St. Jude, the patron saint of Impossible Causes, that helped me pass my math classes in school. So when someone says they are, I say thank you. But an email really got my Irish up today. To make a long story short, yadda yadda yadda, blah, blah, blah
"Praying away the autism illness"
What the what?!?!?!?!?!? Did she just? Oh no she didn't!!!! Aw Hell No! Autism isn't a cold! She better go thank the good Lord I wasn't in the room with her when I read this! Nobody is going to believe this one. Quick, let me copy and paste this and put it on my facebook profile page so other folks can see this. (which is what I did. Yeah I'm a piece of work like that but really that doesn't surprise you does it?)
I'm pretty sure no matter how hard I pray or whatever god or goddess I pray to, autism isn't going away. If you really want to pray for me or any parent who has a child with autism, here's a list of good things to pray for us.
Pray for us that we get four to five consecutive hours of sleep a night. So we may be rested enough to do our jobs as parents. To get the kiddos out the door to school and ourselves off to work, be it inside or outside the home.
Pray for us that we may have patience. Gobs and gobs of patience. For we get gobs and gobs of unsolicited advice and judgement pretty much every day. Coupled with the fact that we do need to use what little patience we have to raise our kids who come with extremely unique challenges. Sometimes we get emails from well meaning people that makes our blood pressure skyrocket. (see the above bold print statement)
Pray for us that we don't have snap. That we have compassion for our kids, who sometimes cannot fully explain to us in terms we can understand what it is that they are going through.
Pray for us that our school districts can provide the appropriate services our kids need.
Pray for us that are married that the stress of it all doesn't take a toll on the relationship because damn it sure does. Can I get an Amen on that?
Pray for us that despite one bad day that we will go to bed (eventually) and wake up knowing tomorrow is a new day and it can be better than the last.
Pray for us that we have the endurance to get our kiddos to the therapies, doctor appointments and all the services they need. Especially that we get them to the right place on the right day.
Pray for us that we can still keep our humor despite what life throws at us.
Pray for us that no matter how frustrated we might get with autism, we remember autism is a part of child we love very much. It's not ALL of them, just a part of them. Unconditional love means you love all the parts, even the autism.
So you see, I'm not so interested in praying away a part of my kiddo. Would I like life to be easier for him? Hell yeah but praying away a part of him, no thanks. That's like trying to pray away freckles or eye color. Can't happen. Won't happen. Let's focus those prayers on something else.
Like praying Mama Fry wins the lottery. :-)